And Another Thing:
My Digital Camera Told Me The Milk Expired

I was watching Home And Garden TV the other night and they had a special presentation of the 2004 International Builders Show, which was held in Orlando Florida this past January. For those of you who are not familiar with this particular event it features all of the latest appliances, hardware, lighting, tools etc aimed at the homebuilding market space. This is the place your builder goes so that he can talk you into that new microwave with a built-in toaster (it exists, really).

Now I have to admit, I am a tech freak. I think that things like PDAs, cell phones that can give directions, ipods, new GTOs and digital cameras are very cool. It's just that sometimes a bit of technology comes down the pike that causes me to step back and scratch my head. Now don't get me wrong, the item in question here has a list of features that seems impressive - Microsoft Windows, 20 GB Hard drive, 15 inch flat-screen monitor with 4096x4096 screen resolution, built in speakers and microphone, high-speed internet capability, digital still/video camera and an icemaker that makes three different sizes of ice cubes. I am speaking, of course, about the LG Internet Refrigerator (LGIR).

The LGIR is a fridge that has more bells and whistles than a convention of one-man band acts, and one feels compelled to ask… why? At a price that ranges from $7,600 to $8,000 just for the unit itself (and don't forget to have the cable company run cable and install a connection behind the refrigerator space before it arrives and the plumber run the line for water and ice), it's not exactly cheap, and the camera isn't exactly portable (it's not detachable) or high resolution (at less than one mega pixel the resolution is lower than my six year old Fuji).

It's hard enough getting into the refrigerator now without having the family standing in front of it watching TV or posing for pictures to send to grand mommy and grand daddy's WebTV in South Carolina. There are also, in my mind, two words in the downloadable brochure I find troubling: "touch-screen" and "kitchen". I don't know about you but if I am in the kitchen cooking the last thing I should be doing is touching anything more expensive than a wooden spoon. Don't get me started on the refrigerators keyboard and mouse.

There are some cool features to the LGIR though; the fact that the LGIR "tracks" the expiration date of the food inside is neat. "Track" is in quotes because it does not actually communicate with the food packaging like the scanner in the self-checkout line in the supermarket. The refrigerator remembers when you put the item inside because you tell it when your are putting the item in. You can view a list to see what you have and how long it's been there although the added functionality of a mall-type map stating "you are here and the cheese that goes bad tomorrow is over there behind the Wasabi mayo", would be helpful.

LG Electronics, which entered the US market with the Internet Refrigerator (say "Internet Refrigerator" whenever you feel blue to lift your spirits) has installed several hundred of them this year and introduced other "hybrids" too. These include the Microwave/Toaster and Microwave/Coffee Maker - ideas not entirely bad. How many of us have a coffee maker and a microwave on the kitchen counter? The concept of saving the space by combining devices is smart thinking and the driving force in the company. Now, how many of us have a refrigerator, a freezer, a digital camera, a TV, a radio and a 356lb PDA in the kitchen? My gut feeling is that in the home of a family that can afford an $8,000 refrigerator, kitchen counter space is not going to be the driving issue.

If you can get beyond the concept of an Internet Refrigerator and look at the idea behind this appliance it sort of makes sense. Now that flat panel TVs seem to be everywhere it follows that you might as well make use of the front of the refrigerator which is viewed by some to be wasted space - this is not true in my house. The door of our refrigerator has enough school papers, old pictures, coupons, shopping lists, newspaper clippings and magnets festooned to it that the appliance resembles a molting musk ox.

The refrigerators operating system is an embedded version of Microsoft Windows. It follows logically then that the LGIR has a reset button. The button is located on the top front of the 70" tall unit. It should probably be more accessible, say a foot pedal perhaps. There are two USB and two serial ports on the refrigerator as well. It would seem that hooking up to a printer, scanner, or decent digital camera shouldn't be a problem as long as the driver software needed is downloadable and is compatible with the refrigerator. If someone hacking your refrigerator is of concern to you - and why wouldn't it be - the LGIR comes standard with virus protection.

Since the fridge runs on Windows and based on my experience with Windows on a daily basis, I would have to assume that the personality of the Internet Refrigerator would be slightly superior and a little condescending. "You seem to be making a casserole, are you sure you want to use mayonnaise? Fat free yogurt would provide a healthier alternative." What would the Refrigerator Assistant look like? A carrot?

The conspiracy theorist in me wonders what else the fridge will be monitoring in the future. What if I decide, after working on this column for instance, that I really need a diet soda? Is there a possibility of having a Keir Dullea moment? "I am sorry Skip, you have had three diet sodas already and I have determined that is enough for one 24 hour period. Wait, what are you doing? Daisy, daisy….". It doesn't talk yet.

The information from LG asks the question "Who is buying the LG Multi-Media (Internet) Refrigerator?" It goes on to say that the LGIR is a perfect message board for those on tight schedules. The brochure also points out that the LGIR would form the perfect centerpiece for the kitchen nerve center of the home for those families where the kitchen is the nerve center of the home. Those who wish to have TV and Radio in the kitchen and have not yet heard of the tremendous breakthroughs in Non-refrigerated entertainment appliances will want to have one as well. Finally the brochure states that the LGIR is a must have for "people who want to be on the leading edge of technology". That is right on. The kitchen has been neglected, although not totally, in the Internet revolution. Its time has come.

Is the LGIR perfect? No. Is it the answer to a nagging question? Not one I have been asking. Is it cool? Absolutely. Those of us who constantly covet the latest and greatest cell phone, the smallest and most powerful PDA, the biggest laptop, that biggest and flattest TV and the camera with more mega-pixels than anyone else on the block will want this and want it badly. I know I do.

Resources: all open new windows
LG Electronics
Hersam Acorn Press "The Home Monthly"
Keir Dullea
2004 International Builders' Show @ HGTV